In recent months we have learned how to protect ourselves from catching the COVID-19 virus by washing hands, avoiding excessive social contact and looking after our hygiene
But did you know that we are equally at risk of ‘catching’ each other’s emotions?
Researchers believe that we evolved to pick up on and mirror emotional signals from others, in order to help keep ourselves safe. Studies show that if you watch someone frown, your own frown muscles become activated. This is down to 'mirror neurones' in your brain which support empathy and connection. When we lived in ancient tribes this was a very useful skill to have. It was an efficient way of signalling threat to each other and it helped the tribe to unify in their experiences so they could act as a team to eliminate threats.
In today's environment we do the same. The more we connect with and mirror the emotions of our 'group' (be it family, friends, work colleagues or social media contacts), the more we feel validated, powerful and safe. Contributing to an angry twitter thread or engaging in fearful 'doomsday' discussions can actually help us to 'feel part of something' and alleviate our discomfort with the fears that accompany a global health crisis.
According to research, 'catching' others' emotions can also help us to feel more powerful in the face of uncertainty about the future. For example, when we notice fear in others, we are alerted to a potential threat which may have caused this fear. In this case, instead of mirroring the fear, we may become angry instead. This anger motivates action and helps us to feel safer. Hence, the number of angry comments we see in response to fear inducing news reports.
But there is a cost; our subconscious minds may feel they are helping us by becoming angry (to motivate action) or connecting emotionally with a group (to feel validated and protected by the group), yet this leads to an intensity of emotion, even panic, which can undermine our day-to-day well-being and lead us to even more unhelpful behaviours. We do not always channel our anger into safety-creating action.
And, unlike the time of tribal living, where the threats were immediate, visible and thus manageable, todays threats are communicated through a constant stream of personal opinions, social media posts, analysis pieces, and data updates. We may not be facing any direct or particular threat to our own safety in any one moment, but our conversations, and our reading of media tell us that we are. We are constantly being triggered.
Not only that, our tribe has expanded to include millions within the global community, whom we connect with on social media. That's a lot of emotional data to mirror and mimic. No wonder we can feel overwhelmed - we are dealing not only with our own fears, but 'catching' the fears (and subsequent anger) of a global tribe.
Yet there is hope. We can learn to down regulate our fear response and avoid spreading the emotion contagion if we just become a little more mindful about how we are responding to the crisis.
How to avoid emotional contagion:
• It is natural to feel angry, sad, frustrated, confused. These emotions are telling you something important and trying to help you to stay safe. Let them be.
• If you find yourself seeking out emotionally charged people or social media sites be aware this is serving a purpose for you emotionally – to help you to feel in control of something that is scary. At the same time, you will be escalating your own emotions to mirror theirs. You can choose to deal with your fears differently.
• Make sure your emotions are responding to accurate 'signals’. Focus on assessing the facts and look for both sides of a story.
• Connect with people who are able to discuss the situation in a balanced and fact-based way. Limit time with people who are extremely emotional. And when with those who are emotional, look for ways to de-escalate. Moderate your breathing and stay calm.
• Be realistic in your assessment of risk. Notice how you have a safe home, a comfortable bed, clean water to drink, people who care for you.
• Be aware of what you can control and what you cannot. You can’t control how many people will catch the virus, but you can control how you respond and how you act each day. You can control if you live each day with purpose and meaning.
• Practice self-soothing activities (soothing breathing, yoga, meditation, mindful walking) to down regulate the fear response. Savour positive experiences.
• Take care of yourself. Be mindful of good nutrition, sleep and hydration.
• Find ways to connect and be of service to others – when we connect positively with our communities, we are hard-wired to feel safer.
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